Have you seen mom? (or, how Bermuda saves my sanity)

Hey mom… Hey mom… Hey
(…witness protection program…)
mom… Hey mom… HEY MOM!
——————————————–

The weekend didn’t start well.  I believe my 5 year old said “mom” easily 30 times before breakfast was on the table Saturday. Even my hubby noticed: “Dude, give the woman a break,” he said. It was somewhat downhill from there.

I am sure I will write more posts about the guilt I feel as a working mom.  One guilt I feel is what I call “desire to flee guilt”. It doesn’t come very often, but when it does – bam! – I want to bolt the house screaming, jump into my car, and not return until I’m sure everyone in the house is asleep, preferably 3 days later.

I have never done this, but man oh man did I want to this weekend.

How is it the kids’ neediness peaks at the exact same time as my tolerance of neediness is at low tide? It is uncanny.  I believe it is further proof that God thinks he is way funnier than he really is.

What do I do? Usually stand on the back porch and take a few deep breaths, remind myself that I chose to have kids and then try to visualize a beach in Bermuda… ahhh. I am refreshed and ready to take on whatever comes my way. Well, at least for 20 minutes or so.  Because in 20 minutes, the kids and the damn dog will decide they all need to be in the bathroom at the same time I am using it.  They don’t like the smell of broccoli cooking but they voluntarily hang out in the bathroom with me when I’m there for an extended visit? What gives?

Breath in, breath out… South Hampton Beach…pink sand… scooters…

A little while later, my darlings will then each ask me something at the same time, from opposite ends of the house. Both will use a voice that conveys urgency and distress. Both will, after calling for me, proceed to yell at each other that they “were first”.  I pretend I don’t hear.

I wonder if we have any wine in the house. What time is it? Crap, not even lunch yet. They’d give me wine in Bermuda. I wonder how much flights are…

And then the tide will finally come in and the normal-ness of our kid dominated life will no longer aggravate me. I won’t mind hearing mom repeated so often that I start to believe my child has turrets.  It won’t bother me that in order for both kids and the damn dog to be in the bathroom with me at the same time someone has to sit on my lap.  Nooooo, I’ll be perfectly fine.

Delta flight number 656 departs at 11am…

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9 Comments

  1. At least your life isn’t BORING, right?

    Reply
  2. This is so very true. It’s like a kind of BiPolar disorder. And you feel guilty but you just want to LEAVE. Why at that minute but not the next? I don’t know. But I’m glad I’m not the only one! LOL. Sometimes it’s ok they’re just hanging out in the bathroom. Sometimes I want to put cement blocks in front of the door and make it soundproof on top of it all. Sometimes i am gone and I miss them so much and as soon as I get home I want to leave again! So, I guess what I’m saying is I can relate!

    Reply
  3. I can relate, too! I love them, I want to be with them and I miss them like crazy when I’m away from them for more than a single 24 hour period. BUT. There is always a “but” isn’t there? You need time to regain your sanity. And why is that our children are always yelling for “Mom” when “Dad” is in the room, too? Mine are horrible about this. And when I point out that daddy is perfectly capable of sorting out whatever it is they require, what do I get? “But mommy, I want you to do it.” Bam – I feel guilty again for not wanting to. Just because I want someone to take some of the pressure off of me every now and then. It’s a never-ending cycle and yet when my kids aren’t making incessant noise with their overly-enthusiastic laughter or calling out for me, I feel like I’m missing something. Like I stepped out of the house naked or something lol. Go figure.

    Reply
  4. Loved today’s haiku – I’m still chuckling! Just wait until you have teenagers. With your child giving you “the silent treatment,” you may go days without hearing your name. Believe it or not, you may actually miss these times of neediness and no privacy!

    Reply
  5. This was a great, great post. Relatable-grin on my face the whole time. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    Reply
  6. it happens all the time! 🙂 but our children will grow up only once (and … before we know it, they’ve grown up, gone out of the house and busy minding their own lives, it would take a miracle to remember dads and moms, especially moms!) and we do not want to miss a thing!

    Reply

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