Deposits and Withdrawals

“Mom… I don’t feel good”
A ploy? A ruse? The truth? Ack!
Who can ever tell?!


There are days I seriously doubt my abilities as a mom, especially when my kids don’t feel well. I have this fantasy that in Little House on the Prairie days the mothers all had this 6th sense about their families.  A child would sniffle; the mother would go out back and find the root of the pine-prick bush and gently stew it with oaks leaves, dried herbs and tear drops to make a magic elixir that would cure the child.

Me?  My kid tells me her stomach hurts… her head hurts… his foot hurts… his eyes feel funny… what do I do? Two simple questions:

  1. Have you had enough water today?
  2. When was the last time you pooped?

That’s it. No magic elixir. No tear drop potion. I don’t even push on the offending body part to see if I can make the kid twinge.

Here’s the sad part. The kid in question usually drops his or her head and admits to either a lack of water or an under utilization of the toilet. He/She disappears and I never hear of the ailment again.

So, those MUST be the right questions, right?

I feel like the family in that movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding… “Put some Windex on it!”  Me? Make a deposit or a withdrawal… one will fix you. I’m sure this (among other reasons yet to be explored on this blog) is why I will never be mother of the year. Oh well.

Leave a comment


  1. ldmccormck

     /  January 16, 2012

    My experience is this works with adults too!

  2. LOL I ask the poop question too!

  3. kellycautillo

     /  January 17, 2012

    I think that the truth is no parent can achieve the magic cure. You could pump them with drugs, food, fluids, force them to stay in bed, wrap them in blankets… and so forth. But you’d be over nursing and probably creating a monster in the process.

    Being there for them to ask, to go to for comfort and know that you’ll call the doctor if you think it’s dire, it’s really all they need.

  4. Thanks for making me smile 🙂
    I can relate to you.. whenever my baby cry, I check first if she needs a nappy change or if she’s hungry..

  5. hahahaha, we say PUT SOME WINDEX ON IT, in my house. I am a single parent, and so my leave and sick days must be saved for the kiddos actual sick days… sometimes I feel terrible because before school I stuff their little pockets with cough drops and kleenex because I know it’s just a cough and I can’t stay home with them for just a cough. Come back with a fever or put some windex on it! My poor kids. 🙂

  6. The Rusty Fork

     /  January 17, 2012

    Or if they present with an afternoon ailment: “Sweetie, you’re probably tired.”

  7. I never thought to ask such important questions.(I hope that does not sound sarcastic!) seriously though, I think those are key questions, at the very least they help get to the root of most problems.

  8. We, us parents, have those checklists 😉 Mine includes – do you have a headache? which for me is an indication of fever so that means no school for the little one.
    Just letting you know – I’ve nominated your blog for The Versatile Blogger Award. Please visit for details.

  9. When bellies hurt I always ask,”Did you poop?”
    When heads hurt I alway say, ” Drink some water.”
    If neither works, “Take a nap!” 🙂

  10. Hi again! Like yoongz, I’ve nominated your blog for The Versatile Bloggers Award..Check this out for details Congratulations!!

  11. You are hilarious! Keep writing–when I need someone else to explain how I feel as a mother–I’m coming to you!

  12. Too funny! I’m with you! Look in the Laura Ingles days mom was at home every day. Lets face it, the sad truth is we dont.have time to be.sick! If my kids complain of a stomach ache, I ask, “would you like some ice cream?” If they answer yes, then I reply, “then you’re just fine!”


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