Are his lips still moving?

One part Engineer
Plus one part Russian major
Equals compromise.

I must start this with a declaration: I love my husband. I really do. He has sacrificed a lot for me. I can’t imagine life without him. He is a wonderful friend, husband and father.


He is an engineer. A talkative engineer.  I can also accurately label him an uber geek. He is also a stay at home dad now (meaning limited daily conversations with people over 4 feet tall). On top of all this he is one of the smartest people I know. He reads a ton, knows something about everything (there is very little overstatement in that, trust me or ask people who know him) and, on to the point of this posting… he believes that anything that interests him must also interest his wife, me.

And here is where I must remind you of my opening declaration because…

He is driving me crazy.  He just finished telling me all about a new technology that streams 4 channels simultaneously so that he can use the new “home theater PC” he is building as a DVR and get all the channels we really want, but then again do we really need cable because in a few years things like Google TV will be the way to go, but our router won’t work for that, so I need to buy a new router since ours has been flakey and then run some cables upstairs, including Ethernet, because you know I plan to automate the whole house but I’m not sure how to do that in an 86-year-old house made of plaster but the HVAC guy figured it out all you need to do is drill holes…

What I hear? Blah blah blah cable blah blah computer blah blah spend money blah blah blah another project blah blah blah… (Does anyone remember this Far Side?)  I can feel my brain fog over while he is talking.  The words make sense individually, but strung together with the lack of punctuation (and the depth of detail), they are nearly incomprehensible by me. My eyes glaze and focus on some random spot 2 feet in front of his face. I wonder how long this will continue. I secretly send “force like” messages to my daughter in hopes she’ll come find me (“I am the mom you are looking for”). I feign needing to go to the bathroom unexpectedly.

I am a horrible person. Because I know that I bore him on my own set of topics (work, my blog, what’s on our bucket list, my blog, vacation in 2015, my blog) – I have seen him glaze over and fog as well.  Early in our marriage I called him on it because it was clear he wasn’t listening and it offended me… and here I am, not that many years later, a complete hypocrite. I should be ashamed.

Instead, I’m trying to listen and understand. I have started to reply and build on the concepts so that it looks like perhaps, just maybe, I understand what he is saying… And you know what this does? Just encourages him to go on. And on. And on.

Bless him. I wouldn’t have anyone else as a husband, and I’m pretty sure he is going to keep me around too (well, maybe not after this posting).  But what in the hell am I going to do for the next 30 years?  I’m afraid I’m going to have to buck up and start really listening, participating in his techno-geek-engineer-computer-star wars-android-linux-hacker-car stuff-motorcycle in-depth discussions and actually paying attention. God help me.

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